Day 11/12/13

The break for 3 days was nice.  It was a time to catch up with life and relax.  I slept a lot.  I did get out of the house each day which was a goal of mine.  Went to chapters on Friday, out for breakfast on Saturday and then for a drive with Jacqueline on Sunday.  She mainly chatted about work which brought my own anxieties back as well as apprehensions.   I want to be back there a lot and grieving the fact that I can't. I loved going through the Autumn covered leavesdriving by the water.  So peaceful.  Sunday evening I had a self hatred time.  I beat myself up and called myself every name in the book.  I didn't complete my goals and it hurt realizing I didn't complete them.  I was discussing this with Meg. She suggested I do the last o e which is as to create a self image poster.   That way I could hang it by my bed so that when I go to sleep I can read it.  My other goals were to use the walker in public and to go swimming 3 times.  Maybe one day I will get there.