Job

I love my job.   My heart loves my job.  Just like other large agencies, there is parts that are better than others.  However most people think of crazy for feeling sad and emotional about leaving.  Maybe it's because I don't actually want to leave.    I want a break for a week or two to recollect my thoughts and lower my stress.  But I don't want to leave.   It's where I feel I belong.  I'm part of a group there.   I have friends and colleagues there that I can joke around with.   I feel supported there by my fellow peeps.   It's been ripped out of my hands like paper.   It hurts loosing something you love knowing that your physical body isn't able to keep up with the need.   It hurts knowing that most likely I want be able to go back to it.   I connect well with people and the sense of lose is great on my future shelf.   I grieve the healthy me that had the opportunity long ago.   I call various aspects of my life stupid now because of it.   The stupid spider bite, the stupid fall, my stupid leg and foot and the stupid brain that I have.   It's the way I cope.  Welcome to the new me.